It’s the penultimate edition before the big finale of the epic Doctor Who Royal Rumble; where we pretend the Doctors have to wrestle each other for glory and dominance. If you missed the first two parts, you can check them out here: Part One ; Part Two.
When we last left off, the Ninth and Eighth Doctors found themselves in a technical grappling match, as the War Doctor looked on and huffed and puffed from the announcer’s table. War Doctor is just relieved there is actual technical wrestling occurring instead of larger Doctor’s simply throwing their weight around.
It’s in the midst of this that the Tenth Doctor joins the fray. His long trench coat billowing behind him as he strides into the arena. It’s draped over very little than small his small wrestling uniform. He spends more time snoozing the audience and posing, than the rest of the Doctors who came before him. Yes, the Tenth Doctor is the Finn Balor of wrestling. you know he has the skill, but he can’t help but try to make love to the crowd as he works his way through the ropes.
Back to a three-way match, the grappling duo now have to contend with the combination of the Tenth Doctor’s technical skill and hard hits. No one is clear who is ganging up on whom. Just when you think Nine and Ten are working together to push out Eight, Ten turns around to sweep the footing out from Nine. As Nine tries to recover from the wind being knocked out of him, Eight goes for a DDT, only for Ten the spin-twist out of the hold. It’s fast moving chaos that is astounding and and perturbing for the entire audience to witness. No one has a clear upper hand when all of the sudden…
Everyone is expecting the Eleventh Doctor to walk into the ring when the music hits. Instead, it’s a large group that walks out into the arena: Five versions of The Master, one of which is Missy!
The crowd explodes into roars as the group rushes the ring. The battling Doctors immediately drop the the fighting amongst each other and get to the edge of the ropes to prepare for the onslaught. The Eighth Doctor, immediately recognizing his spirit worm infused counterpart that he battled, flings his feet in the air, landing a handstand that knocks that Master over the top rope and onto the floor before he can even enter the ring. The Master the Third Doctor was used to battling (Delgado) thinks twice, and runs around to the back of the ring where the Doctor’s are not turning their attention, to climb inside. Missy and her previous incarnation (Sims) both slide in beneath the bottom rope, on their stomachs. The Fifth through Seventh Doctor’s Master (Ainsley) is immediately seized by Ten and Nine and thrown back over the ropes where he came from.
In a matter of seconds two Masters and no Doctors have been eliminated. However, with it now being three on three in the ring, the Doctors are now in an unspoken alliance against the enemy poised and in formation to strike.
It’s at this maddening scene, everyone is about to rush each other, in three on three action, when more music hits. Everyone stops to turn, and watch. Who could possibly be entering now? Has it even been long enough for someone else to enter the fray? Well, for another Doctor? Yes.
Ska music blares. Horns wailing away. Eleven, in a pageboy cap, and Sami Zayn styled gear begins to bop and hop his way toward the ring. His arms flinging wildly, he is smiling and laughing the whole way. The odds are now in the Doctor’s favor, at four to one. Everyone cannot believe their eyes at the goofball hopping into the ring. Despite the odds, the Masters are not going to give up easily. They were not even supposed to be here. No one had trained or prepared for them, they are going to use that to their advantage.
Everyone seems to simultaneously rush one another. It’s a mass of bodies, grabs and hits. Missy stays a little more to the outside so that she can hit the backs of the Doctors with powerful kicks. It’s with one of these kicks to the back of the Eighth Doctor, she is able to force force him down to the floor. Somehow, even with being outnumbered, the other two Masters are able to dip and dodge enough out the way, resulting the Doctors inadvertently clubbing one another. Exhausted, several hit the mat and crawl to corners to recover. The Masters seize this opportunity to work together and throw the Eighth Doctor over the ropes. His feet hit the floor and he is out.
The odds are back to three on three. Silent communication seems to occur between Ten and Eleven, while the Masters’ backs are turned. They quickly turn to Ten. Heads bounce in a unison countdown. After three nods they all jump up and once. Nine grabs Missy and drapes her over his shoulders. Ten grabs his nemesis and swinging his head face up underneath his arm. Eleven does the same with the oldest Master there, but instead of face up, he is face down under Eleven’s hold. Within a few seconds there is a synchronized Back-Body Drop/Atomic Drop/Biel Throw. The crowd explodes as each of the Doctors are able to take the stunned Masters and throw them each over the top rope, and they land stunned outside the ring.
The crowd is roaring. Both they and the three Doctors in the ring have forgotten they are suppose to go back to fighting one another for dominance. Everyone is basking in the moment when a guitar riff hits the air. Sauntering in, with a pair of sunglasses over his eyes, a hoodie covering his chest and a guitar in his hands is the Twelfth Doctor… playing his own entrance music. And yes… it Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony.
The other three Doctor’s start to eye each other, as well as the older gentleman they see walking slowly toward the ring. He is in no hurry, as if he already has a plan in mind. You can see the lack of trust building between the men already in the center of the ring. It looks as if they’re going to wait until Twelve enters before continuing their bout against one another. Then, just as Twelve makes his way to the steps and seems to be on the final cords of his entrance Ten seems to catch Eleven’s eye. More silent communication as they stand behind Nine. Out of nowhere, the two grab the legs of Nine and launch him over the ropes of the ring.
It lacked grace or skill. It was an attack of brute and clumsy force. It works. Nine is over the ropes, landing below and out of the match.
By now, Twelve has discarded his guitar and thrown himself into the ring. He attempts to capitalize on Ten and Eleven being distracted with taking out Nine. He tries to throw off Ten’s center of gravity in an attempt to do to Ten what had been done to Nine. However, Ten just falls backwards onto Twelve. Ten and Eleven continue their team-up, grabbing Twelve and throwing him over the ropes, in a similar fashion to Nine. However, Twelve is bigger on grace and style. Instead of landing on the floor below, he catches himself on the edge of the curtain. He is still safe from disqualification and hopes back over the ropes. In the process of entering back over and into the ring he kicks Ten in the face, sending the pretty boy spinning and falling to the mat.
Twelve smiles and a nervously swallowing Eleven, who pulls at his unusually high color of his athletic shirt. It looks more like swim-shirt than something you’d wear wrestling. Always the opportunist, Eleven decides his truce with Ten is at an end. Instead of going on the attack against Twelve, Eleven climbs the ropes, dive-bombs Ten for good measure, then halls his body out of the ring. Ten is officially out of the match.
Now, it’s just Twelve and Eleven, facing one another.
This is it, this is what it all has come down to… Twelve verse Eleven. Neither were the crowd favorite, yet all that is left. From backstabbing, to team-ups to archenemies entering the ring… it’s all come down to these two,
Eleven is full of powerful kicks, chops, slaps and dirty moves to gain the upper hand, in the name of winning. He’s willing to bend the rules of not just time and space, but wrestling too. Of course, Twelve is also willing to bend the rules. However, he’s not going to do that here. Not now. He’s learned too much and breaking the rules might be worth it to save his best friend but not something as pedestrian as an athletic competition. Because of these scruples, Twelve finds himself knocked across the face and slapping the mat, not able to fully pick himself up in that moment. Instead of capitalizing on the weakness of Twelve, Eleven goes for insurance.
Eleven slides out of the ring quickly, via the bottom rope, so that he is not eliminated. He dives under the ring to pull out a kendo stick, a steel chair and finally a large table. He’s thrown them all into the ring, risking Twelve seizing upon them. However, Twelve does no such thing. He is able to pull himself up, giving Eleven a pained look as he slides back into the ring. Grabbing the kendo stick, Eleven swings it through the air awkwardly like a sword. Twelve shakes his head in disapproval.
Twelve ducks out of the way, “Never cruel,” he replies.
Twelve ducks again, almost tripping over the table, adding, “Never cowardly.”
*SWING-SMACK* right across the back, “Don’t give me that speech… I gave that speech long before you. I am very, very familiar with that speech. But, this is wrestling.” Eleven throws his hands up to the booing crowd.
The kendo stick broken, Eleven goes for the steel chair. He is about to hit Twelve across the face with it, when Twelve catches it mid-swing. Yanking it from Eleven’s hands, Twelve launches the chair out of the ring and onto the floor. No one will be getting smacked with a chair today. The only weapon remain is a table that has not even been set up yet. The pair awkwardly chop, slap and kick their way around the table, neither quite gaining the upper hand. Twelve looks like he could be flagging. He’s not as young as he used to be, after all. In a last ditch effort, he throws his whole body into a spin kick that lands smartly across the jaw of Eleven, who is then down. Twelve starts to go for the lift of Eleven, then stops. Eleven exhausted and unable to pick himself up is still taking the opportunity to elbow Twelve anywhere he can connect. Twelve drops him, hanging his head. Eleven still doesn’t have the energy to get himself, but still too aware for Twelve to launch him over the ring. With a look of self-disgust, and shaking his head back and forth, Twelve reluctantly begins to set up the table.
The crowd roars at the thought of one of the two Doctor’s being launched into the table. The chant their approval. Twelve looks across the crowd in such grouchy disapproval that even Grumpy Cat would be proud.
Finally set up, Twelve goes for the suplex that will launch Eleven through the table. However, Eleven has grabbed onto Twelves tight black pants by the waist, as well. Both are trying to get the upper hand on each other. The fatigue and balance between the two leads to neither one taking over the other. Twelve, fed up with the stalemate breaks his hold in a spin sweep knocking out Eleven’s legs from under him. He then quickly lifts Eleven up and over the ropes, sending him tumbling to the floor, leaving Twelve the last man standing.
Falling to his knees in relief and his hands on his face, Twelve seems as if he might cry, but instead a look of calm serenity takes over his face.
That’s when more music hits the air.
She has the look of Candice LeRae and the joy of Bailey. She poses on the catwalk like Alexa Bliss, and swaggers like Sasha Banks. She seems to carrying the crowd’s loyalty like Charlotte Flair, with the enthusiasm of Becky Lynch. Her gear GLOWS like Naomi and swings like Mickie James.
She is the Thirteenth Doctor. She is the last contestant that is entering the Doctor Royal Rumble, in this ring found aboard one of the lower levels of the TARDIS.
Who do you think will take the title and win it all? Be sure to vote below. Is there one Doctor you wish had a second chance to be in this final round of the rumble? Leave a comment!